If you’re like many new moms, your sex life may have undergone some
changes since the birth of your baby, especially if this is your first child.
Sleepless nights, the added responsibilities, as well as hormonal
adjustments can all contribute to a lack of sexual desire on the part of a
new mom.
Many women also struggle with the apparent conflict between
motherhood and sex. You may find it difficult to see yourself as a sexual
being when you spend your days nursing the baby, changing dirty
diapers, and planning how you’re going to make it out of your housecoat
before supper time!
It’s wise to remember though, that while you may be preoccupied with
baby care, your partner may be feeling left out of the new family
relationship. And if you don’t make an effort to spend time alone with
your partner, he can feel even more left out. As a new mom you
definitely have needs, but so does your partner. If you are to maintain a
healthy relationship, you both need to work at letting each other know
what you need, and be willing to work together to make sure each of you
gets it.
But what do you do when more sex tops his list of needs but it’s fallen off
the bottom of your list altogether? One of the most important things you
can do is realize that you may actually need to put some effort into
reactivating your sex drive. What with raging hormones, a body that you
may hardly recognize, and the constant preoccupation with all things
baby, you may need to make a conscious decision to take action on the
issue. Literally.
Believe it or not, getting activeas in exerciseis one of the best things
you can do for yourself, and for your sex life as a new mom. Regular,
moderate exercise has many other benefits of course, but it’s interesting
that all of these benefits can contribute in some way to improving your
desire for, and your enjoyment of, the more intimate side of your
relationship.
It’s pretty safe to say that motherhood usually adds stress to a woman’s
life, and it’s well known that most women just don’t feel sexy when
they’re stressed. In fact, being in a constant state of stress can definitely
lead to lowered sex drive for women. So it’s important to your
relationship that you learn to manage your stress level. The good news
is that exercise is one of the healthiest and easiest ways to do that.
Something as simple as a daily walk can improve your outlook in
general, and help you feel more relaxed in the bedroom too.
Exercising moderately and regularly will also give you more energy.
When you move your body and use your muscles, you build up strength
and stamina that will help you keep up with the rest of your busy life.
And if you’re exercising regularly this should include your sex life too!
That’s because research shows that people who exercise generally
have more sex than inactive people, and their enjoyment is greater too.
Finally, you will feel better about yourself when you exercise. Not only
will you be taking the time to do something special just for you, you’ll
also be getting back in shape in the process. And there’s no better boost
to a new mom’s self esteem than the day she can fit back into her pre-
pregnancy clothes! As well, while you’re out exercising your body is
busy releasing endorphins into your system. These are the body’s
natural “feel good” chemicals and they have an amazing ability to
improve your mood (or maybe even put you in one!).
When it comes to exercise, the main thing is to choose an activity you
enjoy. Whether it’s a relaxing swim while a neighbour’s teen minds the
baby at poolside, a rousing game of tennis with baby snoozing on the
shady sidelines (and well protected from any wayward balls of course!),
or a brisk walk with another new mom, there are lots of creative ways to
get or stay active with baby.
As a dance teacher, of course my favourite activity is dancing with baby.
Not only is it good exercise and a de-stresser for mom, dancing will
often put baby to sleep as well. In fact, any exercise that involves your
baby (ie dancing together, mom and baby fitness classes, walking with
baby) earns you bonus points. . . if you do the math on this you’ll
discover that one stress-free mom who has been exercising regularly,
plus one sleeping baby, equals a great opportunity for mom to get
reacquainted with her sex life!
Susan Peach has over 20 years experience as a dance and fitness
instructor, and almost as many years experience as a mom. She is also
the creator of Mambo Moms, a fun and gentle Latin dance based fitness
program that helps new moms get back in shape while spending quality
play time with their babies. Find out more at
