The core of much self help literature is that we can create the life you want. We can consciously decide what you want out of life by setting goals and set about achieving them. This is all well and good. The Law of Attraction states that “you attract whatever you give your attention and energy to, whether wanted or unwanted”. However, the main stumbling block is knowing what we actually want.
Much of what we really want is obscured by cultural and social conditioning. We want what we want because of we “ought to” or “should” want it; whether it represents or is aligned with who we truly are or what makes our hearts sing is a different matter altogether.
So how do we discover what we want?
By becoming explicitly aware of what our values are.
What Are Values?
Values are about the things in our lives that are most important to us. On a deeper level, they represent who we are and are what defines us. They are our blueprint. Values are not “should haves” or “ought tos” – they are what truly represents us. When we understand what our values are then it is much easier to live a life that is truly authentic to us. Values are what drives us and provides us with energy and motivation – whether we are aware of them or not.
One reason why we don”t achieve our goals is that they are not aligned with our core values. And as long as we are unaware of what they are, we set ourselves up to “fail”.
How Do You Discover What Your Values Are?
Go back in time…what did you like doing as a child, what games did you play, what character traits did you have? What did you dream of doing when you grew up? What qualities did you think this dream career would give you?
Further on in time……when was there a time in your life when you were really “you”. A time when you had an inner feeling of strength and life felt effortless. Call this a peak moment in time. What were you doing? Who were you with?
As you go through these memories you will get a sense of what your values are; they will emerge as consistent themes which resonate with your experience of being your best self. If your values are not being expressed or honoured, then you may well feel restless and discontent with a pervading sense that something is missing in your life.
My own core values include: creativity, autonomy, abundance, inspiration, intuition, aesthetics, personal growth, well being and simplicity. If they are not being expressed, then I feel “off”. Knowing your values makes it much easier to make important decisions.
A client of mine was having difficulty deciding between two job choices, so I asked her which job fitted best with her core values (which had already been made explicit). You could hear the bells ringing loudly within her consciousness and the decision was instantly made. Being reminded of her core values showed her the tools she needed to use in order to assess which job was right for her. It was much more effective than making a list of pros and cons for each position.
When you are aware of your values and they are being fully honoured and expressed, then you will feel the tangible benefits in the quality of your life; your self belief, confidence, motivation and improved personal and professional relationships.
