I had lunch a few month ago with a pastor of mine and one of the questions he asked me was where I thought my Faith journey has led me so far and how deeply committed in my relationship with Christ. Since we only had an hour to eat and talk, my answer was relatively short and to the point. I basically told him that I felt my faith was getting stronger, and I still feel this way. But during that particular week, for some reason, this question had been on my mind a lot and I found myself elaborating on the answer I gave him.
It wasn”t enough to simply say my Faith is stronger. I wanted to know why. And the more I thought about it, the more wonderous my (our )Faith (and our God) is. I”m currently a student in the Religious Studies department at OSU, which has a very secular focus. Most universities do, which is not a problem for me. I see this as giving a whole different perspective on my Faith, challenging me to see things from an angle I”ve never approached before. At first, I was a little skeptical about entering the program because I was afraid I”d somehow lose my Faith if I started questioning it. Or maybe I”d be influenced by the secularism and would turn away from God completely. At least this is what I was taught at my childhood church, and it kind of stuck with me for 32 years. But through this experience I”ve learned that fear is not Faith. Well, “something” was pushing me forward, so I entered the program. Over the course of 3 quarters of study, I have in fact questioned things, but I”ve also discovered that by questioning, my Faith has strengthened immensely. I”ve stepped out of my little comfortable box and discovered things about the world that only enhance my beliefs. That”s not to say that I”m right and the rest of the world is wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth. But what I”ve found is that by exploring other ways of believing and thinking, I can learn to appreciate and respect different viewpoints and traditions, while at the same time holding fast to my own Faith because it speaks truth to me. Other beliefs are fascinating to learn about, but my Faith is right, for me. It”s in this knowledge that my Faith grows stronger, and I am in fact able to go out and learn about new things and love the world God created with all its differences.
The other thing I”ve discovered is how our God will never leave us, no matter how large our doubts become, or how many times we get angry at Him. I”ve been there. But something remarkable happens to us when we are baptised. God is literally implanted in our hearts and will stay there, even in our moments of doubt when we think He”s not there. He knows the hearts of His children. Here”s how I came to discover this. This revelation goes beyond anything that I”ve ever been taught at church (although church certainly helps!). As I reflect on my life so far as a Christian, I become more fully aware of my purpose here on earth. It”s not something material, or job/career-related. It”s more of a spiritual purpose. I remember there have been certain times in my life when God puts me in particular situations for a reason. Whatever that situation may be, He puts me there because He knows my heart as a Christian and He knows that I will do my ultimate best to do what”s right in that particular situation. He knows that I have a serving heart, even during the times when I”m ticked off at Him. He knows that we, as Christians, will help make the world a better place, because it”s in our hearts to do so. Let me say that I”ve displayed my share of anger toward him plenty of times in my life. But I could never ever abandon a Love like His. When we”re at our worst, does He deny us? As Christians, it”s impossible to close our hearts to him in moments of doubt because He”s already inside them. What an incredible God we serve!
Love in Christ,
Kathy
