No More Lonely Weekends!

How do you react when the weekend arrives, and nobody has invited you to do anything?
Do you mope around the apartment, hoping that the phone will ring, and wishing that somebody, somewhere, will invite you to do something?
Or do you make plans to do some of your favorite activities by yourself?
Many people who don’t have a very active social life, punish themselves further by refusing to do the things they really enjoy unless they are with someone else. Does this happen to you?
Do you tell yourself that you could never go to the movies or the theatre or have dinner by yourself because you can’t enjoy yourself without a partner?
Maybe you’re a person who loves going to gourmet restaurants, or to live theater, or action movies, but you never go to these activities unless you have someone else to go with. If you don’t have a partner to go out with, you just stay home.
You might think you can’t enjoy your favorite activities if you’re alone. Or you might be worried about what others might think if they see you alone in public.
If you have convinced yourself that you cannot enjoy any of your favorite activities if you do them alone, your attitude will create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you go out alone, and then spend the whole time thinking how terrible it is that you don’t have somebody with you, then no matter how great your meal is, and no matter how funny the movie that you see by yourself, you will still go home miserable.
But notice that in a situation like this, it’s not the fact that you’re alone that is causing your misery.
Your misery is caused because you are telling yourself some very negative thoughts, and letting yourself believe that they must be true. When you let critical negative thoughts fill your mind, your emotions will follow where your thoughts are going, and you will feel terrible.
The good news is that you don’t have to say anything negative to yourself at all! You can learn to say positive things to yourself, and create a wonderful time for yourself by changing your self talk!
Just because nobody has invited you to go out, it doesn’t mean you have to stay home alone feeling sorry for yourself.
Decide to go out and do some activity that you really enjoy, and treat it like a special date – a date with yourself!
Don’t go into the experience telling yourself that you will have a lousy time. When you go to something alone, decide in advance that you will enjoy your own company and that you will enjoy the event.
Before you go out, take some time to relax and pamper yourself. Have a nice bath and play your favorite music. Put on attractive clothing that makes you look and feel good. Make the effort to visualize yourself having fun and enjoying the coming experience.
If you find yourself visualizing yourself feeling lonely and sorry for yourself, make a conscious effort to visualize yourself having fun.
While you are at the event, whatever it is, do everything you can to increase the enjoyment you get out ot it.
Pay attention to all the sensory details. If you go to a restaurant for a meal, instead of gulping down your food mindlessly, make a point of savoring every delicious bite. Sip your wine slowly. Take whatever pleasure you can in the situation. Open up all your senses, and open your mind. Create the best time for yourself that you possibly can.
If you approach going out by yourself with a positive attitude, you will find that you can learn to enjoy solitary activities much more than you expected. Going out alone doesn’t mean that you’re a social loser. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be alone forever. And it doesn’t mean that being alone sometimes is a bad thing.
Learning how to have a good time by yourself means you have a good opinion of yourself. It means that you treat yourself well, that you create your own self esteem without depending on the opinions of others to feel good about yourself.
If you can learn to create pleasure and fun for yourself, you will be less panicky when you are faced with spending time alone. You”ll also become more confident, more interesting, and much more attractive to others.