To love yourself is the first step to developing spiritually. We have been told to love
others but not to love ourselves. This is a very harmful piece of advice and we will get
into trouble if we attempt to follow it.
We have been told that if we love ourselves we will develop a big ego, become a
narcissist and so forth. However the exact opposite is true. Watch the do-gooders, the
people who serve society, the politicians, the missionaries, and the social workers. You
will observe that they have the biggest egos of all. They will tell themselves that they do
not love themselves but love humanity. Their egos will be nourished and they will
develop big egos.
In fact unless these servants of humanity love themselves their love for humanity will
only be an ego trip and they will do harm instead of good.
Osho Rajneesh says that it is only the person who loves himself who can love others. Just
as you respect yourself you will find yourself respecting others. Just as you meet your
own needs you will find yourself understanding the needs of others. Osho compares
loving yourself with a pebble being thrown into a lake. The ripples caused by the pebble
will at first arise close to the pebble. It is only later that the ripples spread out and reach
the shores of the lake.
If you prevent the ripples from arising close to the pebble naturally they will also not
reach to the shore. In a similar manner unless you love yourself you will not be able to
love others.
Another benefit to loving yourself is that you will be able to meditate. You will be able to
be alone with yourself only if you love yourself. A person who hates himself will seek all
manner of distractions because he will not be able to stand his own company. He will
seek out friends to socialize with, go to a movie, or switch on the tube anything to take
him away from himself. Doing meditation means being alone with yourself and you will
only benefit from this practice if you love yourself.
And the practice of meditation, the watching which is the second instruction of the sutra
will help you and benefit you in many ways. Indeed it is possible to learn to love yourself
by doing meditation if you follow the right method.
The method for cultivating love for yourself by meditation is this watch whatever arises
during the course of your meditation, and acknowledge it. You may want to focus on the
in breath and the out breath as you are doing the meditation. Thoughts and feelings will
inevitably arise. Welcome those thoughts and feelings and acknowledge them. Just this
much is required no more. This is a powerful Buddhist method of meditation and it will
lead to all manner of benefits in your life, in your relationship with yourself and with
others. You can practice this method of acknowledging your thoughts and feelings at
stray moments during the day when you have nothing to do. During a traffic jam, while
waiting for a bus or train whenever you find time, practice acknowledging your
thoughts and feelings. Anchor yourself in the present moment by simultaneously
observing the breath. Follow this practice for a few weeks and observe the changes in
your life.
Awareness of yourself, observing yourself is a source of bliss and also transformation.
The story is told of Nagarjuna the famous Indian mystic. Once a thief came to him and
said that he desired to learn and practice the way. The thief said that he is prepared to do
anything but not to give up stealing. He asked if Nagarjuna would accept him as a student
and would teach him. Nagarjuna said, “Certainly I will”, and taught him the techniques of
self-observation and mindfulness. He simply asked the thief to practice mindfulness as he
went about his job of robbing people. The thief went home and tried to follow these
teachings. A week later he returned to Nagarjuna and asked to be accepted as a disciple.
The thief said that he had found it impossible to rob others and at the same time be
mindful. He had to choose either be conscious and not steal or be unconscious and
steal. This was the choice faced by the thief. Nagarjuna accepted the thief as a disciple
and later the thief went on to become enlightened.
Be conscious and watch as you go about your daily activities as well as during
meditation. You will find that truly virtue is its own reward.
I hope you enjoyed this article and that it will be useful to you.
Stay tuned for more in this continuing series.
Related Posts
