How to Overcome Anxiety and Fear With Women
One of the most common scenarios students present me with is
this:
I do fine if I am introduced to women or already know them.
But walking up to a stranger, dead cold, in any situation, scares
the bejezus out of me. I just can not do it. What can I do to
resolve this?
Over the years, I have seen this question or variations on it
more times than I can count. If you have felt shy, anxious or
even afraid of women, especially beautiful ones, I can assure you
that you are far from alone. In fact, I would have to say that
fear and shyness around women is so common among men, it”s close
to being an epidemic.
Now, this “fear factor” can strike guys at different stages.
For most, it has to do with the initial approach/ice breaking.
For a few guys, approaching is easy, but they freeze up when it
comes time to making that serious physical pass. Wherever you may
be having your “fear” or “shyness” or “freezing” problem, the
good news is that there are powerful solutions to this that can
get you going rapidly in the direction you want, without fear,
shyness or shame.
I am here to tell you that you can rapidly overcome all of this,
just as thousands of guys I have taught have done. I can also
assure you that this kind of fear effects guys from all walks of
life, from rich to poor, from unathletic dudes to even former U.S
Special Forces soldiers. Yes, I mean guys who would have no
problem jumping from planes, running through mind fields and
dodging bullets have flat out told me, face to face, women scare
them silly. The good news, this can all be rapidly overcome with
some awareness of how you are producing your shyness and fear and
a little retraining of your mind.
Your Fear Is Not A “Thing”
Here is why: “fear” and “shyness” or “hesitation are not THINGS
that happen to you even though it may seem that way.
Remember we spoke in a previous issue about how a womans
feelings dont just happen to her by some mysterious magic, but
are the result of a recipe or process she runs on herself?
Its the same for any kind of feelings, positive or negative,
that anyone experiences.
Remember this rule for personal change; whatever it is that is
troubling you, has a structure and a process, and that it means
it can be changed, and even blown apart.
You don”t have a bunch of “fear” or “shyness” or “hesitation”
fluid running through your body, like transmission fluid in a car
that some mind mechanic has to drain out so you can then be
“confident”. “Fear” or “shyness” or “hesitation are internal
mental processes that you DO to yourself.
You don”t HAVE “shyness”. You DO “shyness”, usually so quickly
and outside of your awareness of how you are doing it that it
seems like something that is just happening to you.
I repeat it again: all humans have their “recipes”- internal
mental processes they do to themselves that produce the final
resulting “feelings” of fear, confidence, assurance, calm, etc.
So you too have some internal “recipe” that produces your
shyness, or hesitation or fear. . .
This means that by changing one or more of the elements of your
recipe-how you are talking to yourself, what you are visualizing,
the flow of energy in your body or your posture and breathing,
the resulting “feelings” that come out the other end can be
rapidly and radically changed, even if you have suffered from
them for a lifetime!
Heres A Method Guaranteed To Work!
We”ll examine how to do this in detail, but I want to talk about
the most powerful and easily shifted element of any internal
“fear” recipe. It”s one that most people never even consider, but
I will explain not only how to use it to immediately rid yourself
of all fear and nervousness around women, but also the science
behind it so you will know WHY it works.
I”m talking about the power of your breath. You can look at your
breath as the single key ingredient for controlling and designing
your state of mind with women. Why is this? Simply because the
part of your brain that controls the fight or flight
response-that rushing of adrenaline that makes you shake, get
short of breath, feel jumpy and want to run from a woman, or just
get passive and withdraw-that part of the brain is intimately
linked to your breath.
Put simply, you cannot go into the “flight or fight” response if
you learn to control your breath. Control the breath in any
situation and you will remain calm; if you”ve studied any kind of
martial arts, you already know this. By controlling your breath
and cutting off the fight-flight mechanism, you activate the
creative and adaptive layer of your brain, the layer of the brain
that is relatively new in terms of evolution.
This layer of your brain can is the same part that helps you
think on your feet, adapt to the situation in front of you,
remember to try new behaviors, etc. It”s also the part of your
brain that lets you come up with exactly the right move or
exactly the right thing to say an hour after the woman has walked
away and you”ve already calmed down! We want you calmed down,
immediately, so you can take advantage of and enjoy the new
skills we”ll teach you to succeed in every situation! Is this all
making sense?
Can you now imagine the power of remaining totally calm, relaxed,
confident and secure, in every situation with women?
Now, please remember, this is a practice. Retraining the brain
takes some focus, discipline, repetition and time, but it can be
done. So do this as a practice, ten minutes a day, every day, for
at least the next 2-3 weeks and get ready to enjoy the results
you will feel!
A Breath Practice To Destroy All Fear With Women
The first thing I want you to do is take a deep, deep breath in
through your nose. Do it right now as you read this. As you
breathe in, do it by expanding your rib cage and imagine you are
breathing into the center of your chest. Complete the inhale by
expanding your belly and pushing it out. Now hold the breath for
a just a moment. Begin exhaling, also through your nose. This
time, when you exhale, pull your belly toward your spine. Empty
your lungs of air and at the end of the exhale pause for just a
moment. Notice how you can feel that calm moment of silence at
the end of the inhale and the end of the exhale.
Ok. Here comes the piece we want to add in. This will really help
totally disrupt your fear response. Take another inhale, just
like last time, through the nose. This time, as you do, imagine
there is a soft line of energy moving down the front of your body
and imagine it pooling in the space between your belly button and
your pubic bone. In the martial arts, this place is known as the
hara, or t”an t”ien. Imagine it swirling there in a clockwise or
counter clockwise direction. Either way will work.
When you are finished inhaling, hold the breath for just a moment
and feel the calm and silence. Now, when you exhale (through the
nose pull your belly toward your spine and imagine a strong
line of energy-an energy of strong will and intent-moving from
the small of your back, up your spine and straight out through
the top of your head. Feel the strength up your spine and your
clarity of mine when you do this strong exhale.
Please note here, when I say “imagine energy” what you ought to
do is see some kind of color or feel some kind of feeling-like
warmth or heat or tingling, or even a combination of both. It
doesn”t have to be vivid or super-real; just an idea that this is
happening will do.
The keys here: when you inhale, the energy you feel or imagine is
soft and relaxed and moves down the front of the body. Almost
like a feather brushing the surface of your skin.
You imagine it gathering, pooling and swirling in the space
between your belly button and pubic pone. When you exhale, the
energy going up the spine is inside your body, in your spine,
rather than on the surface of the skin. And it is strong AND
calm. A relaxed determination. By the way, energetically
speaking, this is what women mean when they say they want a guy
with “backbone”!!)
They are using a metaphor to describe something that is quite
“energetically “real) When you really feel this calm, just
like last time, through the nose. This time, as you do, imagine
there is a soft line of energy moving down the front of your body
and imagine it pooling in the space between your belly button and
your pubic bone. In the martial arts, this place is known as the
hara, or t”an t”ien. Imagine it swirling there in a clockwise or
counter clockwise direction. Either way will work.
When you are finished inhaling, hold the breath for just a moment
and feel the calm and silence. Now, when you exhale (through the
nose pull your belly toward your spine and imagine a strong
line of energy-an energy of strong will and intent-moving from
the small of your back, up your spine and straight out through
the top of your head. Feel the strength up your spine and your
clarity of mine when you do this strong exhale.
Please note here, when I say “imagine energy” what you ought to
do is see some kind of color or feel some kind of feeling-like
warmth or heat or tingling, or even a combination of both. It
doesn”t have to be vivid or super-real; just an idea that this is
happening will do.
The keys here: when you inhale, the energy you feel or imagine is
soft and relaxed and moves down the front of the body. Almost
like a feather brushing the surface of your skin.
You imagine it gathering, pooling and swirling in the space
between your belly button and pubic pone. When you exhale, the
energy going up the spine is inside your body, in your spine,
rather than on the surface of the skin. And it is strong AND
calm. A relaxed determination. By the way, energetically
speaking, this is what women mean when they say they want a guy
with “backbone”!!)
They are using a metaphor to describe something that is quite
“energetically “real) When you really feel this calm, relaxed,
determined feeling, put the fingertip of the first finger of your
right hand on the tip of your thumb and touch it gently. As the
feelings increase, increase the pressure of the fingertip against
the tip of your thumb. You have now created a “calm/confident”
anchor for yourself, so when you find yourself in a real world
situation with women that”s a bit scary, simply do one of the
breath cycles (inhale and exhale) as you place your thumb and
finger tip together. Increase the pressure of fingertip against
thumb to increase the feelings of calm, confident power. I want
you to practice this breathing for 10 minutes a day, sitting
comfortably or standing.
Ok. Once again, Ive overloaded you with information (you should
see me at one of my three day seminars!). Once again, print this
newsletter out, take some time to study it, and re-read it a
couple of times again!
Till next issue,
Piece and Peace,
Ross
P.S. Want to wipe out your fear of women in minutes? Check out my
new Fear Into Charisma video (with free viewable clips) at:
http://www.seduction.com/feartocharisma.asp
This newsletter and all its contents are , Ross
Jeffries. This newsletter may be reproduced and reposted in any
format, provided it is done so for free, all links are left
intact, and proper credit is given for authorship. To subscribe
to this newsletter in the event you are reading it from a third
party website, please go to: http://www.seduction.com.
Straightforward Inc
822 Eagle Point Road
Van Alstyne
TX 75495
United States
Related Posts
