Do You Ask Why?
~ By Jan Tincher
Jan Tincher –
http://www.tameyourbrain.com
Do you ask these why questions?
*Why does this always happen to me?* *Why can”t I do anything right?* *Why do I keep screwing up?* *Why can”t I make any money?* *Why can”t I lose weight?* *Why do all the good things happen to other people?* *Why can”t I remember anything?* *Why do I have to do everything?* *Why am I always the one that gets punished?*
When you ask why, you get answers, don”t you? But not the right ones, right? When you ask questions like those, your mind goes to other times where you acted that way, and tells you that is the way you are. *Because you always ask for it.* *Because you”re stupid.* *Because you don”t have the right qualifications.* *Because you”re always in the wrong place at the wrong time.* *Because you”re getting old.* *Because you”re always in the way.* *Because you”re a loud mouth.* *Because you”re convenient.* Etc.
You ask those kind of questions, you get those kind of answers.
Why not ask empowering questions?
*How can I use this?* instead of *Why do I keep screwing up?* leads you in the direction of solutions, not uselessness.
*What is great about this problem?* None of the debilitating answers in the second paragraph are going to come up for this one, are they? No. Now, think about what you can find about this problem that you really like.
Why, you ask? Because, and listen good, if you ask yourself what you can find in the problem that you really like, you aren”t asking yourself *Why me?* questions. Now, you”re asking yourself questions that lead you in a positive way, questions that MAKE YOU THINK. When you think the right thoughts, you are finding solutions instead of finding more problems.
*What is not perfect YET?* This implies that things will be perfect. It gives you new answers and reassures you at the same time. Make a list of what is not perfect yet, then check the list off as you *perfect* the situation.
*What am I willing to do to make it the way I want?* Make your list of what you are willing to do, then set a time frame that you will do the projects in.
*What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want?* For instance, am I willing to STOP smoking in order to be healthier? Am I willing to give up a night with the guys in order to make a more harmonious home life? Am I willing to buy more fruits and vegetables in order to eat healthier?
*How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want?* Keep looking. You”ll find lots of ways to enjoy it that you never even thought of before.
Do any of these questions bring up anything that in any way calls you a dummy, a failure, a non-productive person? No. And believe me, that is the goal. These questions guide your mind in a direction away from the first set of questions. Far away. In fact, don”t go back there ever again if you can help it.
And while you are at it, maybe you can change the questions you are asking others, also.
For instance, have you ever noticed the results you get when you ask someone *why* they did something? Especially if you used a voice tone that implied *Why are you so STUPID to do that?* Now, I know we don”t do this on purpose, but in the process of trying to figure something out, we sometimes actually wonder that and it communicates itself to the other person. We don”t ever want to do that, no matter how upset we are. One way to avoid that is to change the question to *How can we change this so it won”t happen again?*. That is a very productive question.
Let”s take stock now. What are the primary questions that are currently shaping your life? Do any of them start out with *Why*? Wouldn”t now be a good time to change that?
Change the questions you are asking yourself, and change your life around. It is that simple.
Thanks for reading.
Jan
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, Jan Tincher, Worldwide
DISCLAIMER: Jan Tincher and/or *Tame Your Brain!* do not guarantee or warrant that the techniques and strategies portrayed will work for everyone. The techniques and strategies are general in nature and may not apply to everyone. The techniques and strategies are not intended to substitute for obtaining medical advice from the medical profession. Always consult your own professionals before making any life-changing decisions.
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Would you like to learn how to relax better? Jan has written many great articles on stress. To read them, go here: http://www.tameyourbrain.com/stress/index1.htm
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