It would be pretty hard to become successful without
first developing your self-esteem. In fact, I can’t
think of one person who is very successful who has low
self-esteem.
Before we start going on about self-esteem, let’s take
a second to define self-esteem.
What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is defined as
feelings of self-worth stemming from the individual’s
positive or negative beliefs about being valuable
and capable.
It is pretty hard to develop self-esteem when you
are working on a job that doesn’t allow you to be
exactly who you were meant to be. If you are working
at a job that doesn’t quite fit with who you are,
chances are that job is messing with your self-esteem.
How can you feel good about yourself if Monday through
Friday for 8 to 10 hours, you are doing something that
doesn’t help in the development of your self-esteem?
The answer is you can’t.
You can’t possibly feel good about yourself and
what happens is, you start questioning your abilities.
You start wondering if you are good enough or smart
enough. You see others who seem to be doing well
and having success, but for some reason, you keep
falling short.
If you do not have high self-esteem, you will start
to believe that you are at fault and that you don’t
measure up or you can’t make the grade.
The truth of the matter is, you aren’t living your
life with purpose. Because you lack passion for
the job or career that you find yourself in, you
will find that often times, you won’t be excited
about it. Your lack of enthusiasm will cause your
work to not be up to par. It has nothing to do with
your abilities. You can’t be all that great at
something if you are constantly watching the clock;
waiting for your break or for the day to end because
you are simply tired of being there. If you were
doing something that you really enjoyed doing,
something that you were passionate about, you would
not help BUT measure up and excel the standards.
Someone would probably have to tell you, “Hey, you,
it’s quitting time.” And the time would seem to fly
by without you even taking a lunch break.
How do we get in this position? How did we lose
our self-worth?
Well, there are many answers to that question.
Perhaps one or both of your parents made you feel
that you weren’t worthy of their love because they
didn’t know how to give love. Or, perhaps a teacher
or authority figure made you feel that you weren’t
smart enough. Maybe your siblings or childhood friends
teased you and made you feel less than.
These, plus millions of other reasons, are
contributing factors in how we see our self-worth.
If you see yourself as being not worthy, then you
will shy away from responsibilities. Often, these
responsibilities, when they present themselves,
may be the answer to our prayersthey may be the
one thing that will lead us to living the life that
we desireto achieving that success that we’ve always
wanted. But our doubts about ourselves and our low
self awareness stop us from accomplishing our goals.
It’s really sad. It hurts my heart when I hear someone
say something negative about themselves. I have a girlfriend,
who I think is very smart, a great person with a big
and wonderful heart, and very entrepreneurial spirit.
But she has this bad habit of saying, “I’m a bimbo.”
Every time I hear her say these words, I stop her.
But I can imagine how many times she says it when
I’m NOT around. She’s not a bimbo. But because somewhere
during her lifetime, someone probably called her a
bimbo so much she simply accepts it as being the truth.
Because of her “opinion” of herself, she often times
experiences moments of doubt about herself.
But how to do you change your opinion of yourself?
How do you develop high self-esteem?
Well, folks, as I always say, “it’s simplebut
it ain’t easy.”
In order to develop high self-esteem, you must
start with being conscious of your self-talkthe
things you say to and about yourself.
Whenever you find yourself doubting your abilities
or fearing what others will think of youSTOP,
Tell yourself that you are just as good as or
better than the next person. Tell yourself that
you KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you
can perform the task and do a good job at it too.
If you find yourself saying anything negative about
youSTOP AT ONCE!! Put the brakes on. Hold it now!!!
And change that thought to a positive one.
Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself
“I’m a winner. I’m a champion! I can do anything!”
When you tell yourself this, take the time to FEEL
as if you ARE a winner, a championhow would a winner
feel? Great, right? Well, make yourself feel great.
Say it as if you really and truly mean it.
If you do this often enough, you will start to
convince your subconscious mind that you ARE GREAT
(which, by the way, you truly are alreadyyou just
don’t know it yet. I do.) The more you become convinced,
the higher your self-esteem will rise.
ACTION POINT! For the next 7 days, if you find
yourself saying or thinking anything negative about
yourself STOP. Put the brakes on that thought.
If someone says anything negative to you or about
youSTOP tell that person, or simply tell yourself,
“No, I’m not. I’m a winner, I’m a champion!”
When you wake up each morning and go to the bathroom
to wash your face, look in the mirror and say,
“I’m a winner! I’m a champion! I’m a GREAT person!”
Say it over and over and over again until you can
feel it in your bones. Say it loud if you can
(if you can’t say it loud because you will wake
up others, or you don’t want them to think you
are talking to yourselfthen say it so that you
can at least hear it.) Do this for a week and write
me and tell me all about the new experiences that
have been happening in your life because I know
things will start happening and I’d like to hear
about them.
Dawn Fields is a motivational speaker, author, and Life Coach. She teaches how to discover your life’s purpose and incorporate it into a lucrative career. Visit her web site at
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