Be an Optimistic Realist and Overcome any Obstacle

Inez Ng
An optimistic realist – sounds like a paradox, doesn’t it. But that is precisely the point. I believe that being an optimistic realist will help you succeed. But first, let me tell you about the “Stockdale Paradox”, and why it is relevant.
In Jim Collins’ book, “Good To Great” he made many references to the “Stockdale Paradox”. So what exactly is the “Stockdale Paradox”? Before we get there, you need to know the story of Admiral James Stockdale.
Stockdale was a prisoner of war for 8 years (1965 to 1973) in the “Hanoi Hilton” at the height of the Vietnam War. During that time, he was subject to torture and endured horrific conditions. Because he was the highest ranking officer, he took on the responsibility of command in the camp. His set out to do whatever it took to create conditions that would increase the possibility that these prisoners would not just survive the experience, but remain unbroken. The story had a happy ending because Stockdale was ultimately released in 1973. He survived his experience unbroken in spirit and helped many, many others do the same. He was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for his impact.
When Jim Collins met Jim Stockdale, their conversation naturally centered around Stockdale’s Vietnam experience. That’s when the “Stockdale Paradox” was born. When asked how he was able to endure his ordeal, Stockdale said: “You must maintain unwavering faith that you can and will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and at the same time, have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of you current reality, whatever they might be.” (Jim Collins, Good to Great, HarperCollins Publishers, 2001)
I found it very interesting that this concept was included in a book about successful businesses, but it really does make perfect sense. What is required of us to overcome difficulties and challenges is the ability to be both optimistic about the outcome and the ability to be realistic about our challenges at the same time. In other words, we need to be an optimistic realist!
So let’s apply what we learned about the “Stockdale Paradox” to our current situations. As an Optimist, Stockdale never lost faith that he will prevail in the end. His goal was to get himself and as many POWs out of the “Hanoi Hilton” alive and unbroken.
• What is your goal for yourself regarding a business or an aspiration?
As the Realist, Stockdale had to confront the brutal facts of his current reality, which were: The POWs had no idea when they would be released, and they were subject to torture and manipulation.
• What are the brutal facts of your current reality relating to your aspiration?
Stockdale also said that “what separates people is not the presence or absence of difficulties, but how they deal with the difficulties they encounter.” This is how he dealt with his current reality: Stockdale identified that deteriorating morale was a problem produced by his current reality. One of his solutions was to devise a communications system using codes that the prisoners could tap out to each other. The ability to communicate reduced the sense of isolation for the prisoners and helped maintain order and morale.
• What is one problem created by your current reality?
• What is a solution to that problem?
• What actions does the solution entail?
• By when will you complete the action?
Sometimes life is very challenging, so how can we manage to maintain our optimistic realist attitude? For the POWs their motivation was their very survival as a start, and their love for their families waiting for them back home. What moves us to action, and propels us forward despite setbacks and disappointments are our values.
• What values are you honoring with your goals and actions that keeps you motivated through the difficult times? What really makes this important to you?
When the reasons are compelling enough personally for you, you will find the strength and determination to keep going.
Fortunately for most of us, “the brutal facts of our current reality” are not nearly as gruesome as what Stockdale had to contend with. But it is also inevitable that at some point in our lives, we are faced with difficulties we have to overcome. So start practicing being an optimistic realist and you will be better equipped to handle any challenges life throws in your path.