While you are dating someone we often lose a sense of our self that we may have initially had. It is highly important that we maintain who and what we are while we date that person. So often our own ideals, morals, and wants can change when we are dating someone. We need to maintain our ideals, morals, and wants throughout the relationship, as doing that will keep us on track with the type of relationship that we want.
When you first date someone in the new bliss of a relationship we often compromise ourselves perhaps in the desire to finally have that one right relationship. While it’s ok to make some compromises, other will only serve to haunt us later in the relationship, and later down the road. One example may be drug use, if you are dating someone that may use drugs casually, say only on the weekend, or at a party, and if this was something that you were against, this may not work out for you later. At some time and point, you will have to address this disconnect, whether it means you changing your beliefs or you getting rid of that partner.
Another example might be the way someone treats you. Knowing where your personal boundaries are can help keep you on track. Let’s say you are against any type of verbal abuse such as a partner yelling at you. You notice that sometimes in heated discussions, that all couples have your partner yells at you, or may call you names. You know these are things you are against and do not want any part of. You will once again be forced to choose if this behavior is ok, or if you are going to have to part ways with your partner.
Your spiritual life may be an important area for you. If you engage in a dating relationship with someone that does not value a spiritual life, this will come up eventually. As your partner may not understand when you go to religious services or when you may need to spend time practicing your faith. Again, this disconnect will eventually rise to the service.
It is vitally important that you know enough about yourself, your beliefs, and your wants and desires in a relationship. All disconnects will become apparent, and you will have to make adjustments accordingly. It is important that you know what is important to you, and you make these areas known early on to establish your boundaries. This way you and your partner are both clear on what the areas of compromise are.
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