Dear Anti-Minuteman Observer and Reporter:
These Minuteman yahoos are trying to tell me that if I really loved America that I would suddenly, like a light bulb turning on in my head, realize their cause was right and good and would let them come on my land and do God only knows what to those illegals the wife and I have coffee with every morning.
Signed,
Billy Joe Bob (“Tex”)
Dear “Tex”,
Oh, please call me AMOR for short. You’ll get a headache trying to write out that whole name. Ok, here’s the scoop. The Minuteman Project people and all their friends (do they really have friends?) use an argument that is almost 300 years old. The offspring of the original English settlers of America used the identical craziness, pitching a hissy fit over German and Scottish-Irish IMMIGRANTS coming to America to find a better life.
Here it is briefly:
“With unemployment at chronically high rates in nearly all countries, it is not surprising that the number of explanations and interpretations is on the rise. In less developed countries, we are told, the high birth rates and population growth rates exceed the ability of agriculture and industry to absorb the new population, with the result of increasing unemployment. In the industrial countries, where the rates of growth of population are much lower, the explanations cover a wide spectrum from the Marxian exploitation doctrine to the Keynesian inadequate–spending theory. In the United States, the oldest explanation of them all is coming to the fore. Rooted in the fear and resentment of foreigners, many of whom are illiterate and poor, more and more Americans are pointing at the newcomers as the cause of their difficulties. Labor leaders, especially, are quick to vilify “the illegal aliens” for the chronic unemployment that is plaguing organized labor.” [1]
There you have it. Let me know what you think.
Signed,
AMOR
***
Dear AMOR:
Took the wife and me the better part of three weeks to figure this out. We had to call the little woman’s nephew, Avis, who just got out of college. He explained it fine. So what do I do when them there Mexican hunters come wanting to catch and hog-tie them some Mexicans on my land?
Signed,
“Tex” the Enlightened One
Dear TEO:
When the Minuteman Project knot-heads come a calling, catch and hogtie them, then call the Sheriff and have them arrested for trespassing on your land.
Signed,
AMOR
***
Dear AMOR:
I attended one of those Minuteman Project meetings where they kept telling us that if we were real patriots that we would jump at the chance to permit them to come on our land to “observe and report” all those lovely Mexicans crossing the border to pick our fruit. But what I cannot understand is why they were all armed to the teeth with a gun on every hip at this meeting and why will they want to take their guns on my land if they are there just to “observe and report”?
Signed,
Clovis in Laredo
Dear Clovis:
Did anyone ever tell you that you have a GREAT name?
There are many mysteries in life, Clovis, and I am afraid the gun toting “observing and reporting” Minuteman are just one of them.
Here are the only things I can figure out:
1. Some of them think they look really cool in their cowboy outfits and gun belts.
2. Some of them didn’t get to play much “cowboy and Indians” when they were kids so they are compensating.
3. Some of them are still only kids.
4. Some really, really, really want to shoot some hapless Mexican.
5. Some of them want to have the press take their pictures looking like Roy Rogers.
6. Some of them suffer from severe paranoid delusions and are in need of heavy doses of psychotropic medications.
Other than that, I don’t know what else to tell you, Clovis.
Did your parents ever tell you just “why” they named you, “Clovis”?
Signed,
AMOR
***
[1] Illegal Aliens; by Hans F. Sennholz;
Doug Bower is a freelance writer, Syndicated Columnist, and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He is a columnist with Cricketsoda.com and more than 21 additional online magazines. He is also a writer with EzineArticles.com with a readership of almost 6,000. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico. His newest books, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country and The Plain Truth about Living in Mexico can be seen: CLICK HERE:
