Goldilucks and the Three Marketing Gurus: Part 2

In Part 1 of our story, our heroine (Goldilucks) has discovered a remote cottage in the Adirondack Mountains belonging to three marketing gurus: Hype Guru, Greedy Guru, and Smart Guru. The three gurus decided to take a break from working on their new marketing ventures and go for a hike down the mountain.
Being tired and hungry from hiking all day, Goldilucks decides to make herself at home since the absent owners left the door unlocked.
An intruder finds food and opportunity.
Goldilucks walks into the cottage with her eyes wide open in wonder. There was every sign of modern luxury and convenience you could ever want stuffed inside this place.
Expensive paintings, plush furniture and rugs, lavish entertainment center, golf equipment, the latest kitchen appliances–the bathroom even had a self-flushing toilet!
Goldilucks had walked into some rich person’s hideaway. Since she was hungry, she checks out the fridge. It was stuffed to the brim with meats and cheeses, fancy wines, bottled water, cakes, condiments and leftovers in mystery containers that she didn’t dare open.
However, Goldilucks decides to make herself a sandwich and watch some TV.
As she munches and switches channels with the remote, she notices the three laptop computers sitting on the dining table. Curious, she goes over to take a look at each one.
“Why would someone need three laptops?”
She sits down in front of Hype Guru’s laptop and presses the space bar. His was the most expensive and largest of the three. The screen clicks on and Goldilucks begins to read the sales letter Hype was working on.
It was filled with words like:
Big Opportunity
Amazing Wealth-making System
Become Wealthy Almost Overnight!
The letter went on and on about how someone like Goldilucks could learn all the secrets and tricks to becoming rich quickly by following Hype’s simple plan.
All she had to do was send in her money and she’d be on easy street.
Goldilucks had seen this type of thing too often on the Internet and she wasn’t fooled. It turns out that Goldilucks had been looking for ways to make a part-time income online that she hoped would help her pay for her vacations. And, she was quite familiar with the overblown claims of guru’s like Hype.
“This guru’s offer is too hot.”
Goldiluks clicks off the screen.
Goldilucks goes to the next laptop and sits down. This one was nice also, but a bit less intimidating to use. Again, she presses the space bar and the screen pops on.
Goldilucks studies Greedy Guru’s web site that was attractive, but sparse. All he seemed to advertise was “Fresh Opt-In Leads”. All guaranteed “fresh.” He was selling 5,000 names for $45.
Goldilucks had never bought these kinds of names but was mistrustful of the offer. She had heard stories of people using lists to spam others with their business opportunities. Goldilucks hated spam.
“This guru’s offer is too cold.”
She frowns as she slams the screen down.
She moves over to the last laptop, expecting to be thoroughly disappointed.
She notices that this computer was the smallest and easiest to use. Goldilucks barely touches the screen and it appeares – like magic.
A smile comes over Goldilucks face immediately. The headline read:
“Struggling to Make Extra Money Online? I can Help – Without the Hype!”
Goldilucks settles in and reads the entire sales letter. At the end she was convinced that this guru’s information was worth having. She also liked the way he seemed to speak to her personally, like a friend.
“This guru’s offer is just right.”
With that, Goldilucks fishes her credit card out of her backpack and places an order right there on the spot. She then emails several of her friends and tells them to visit Smart Guru’s sight as well.
Goldilucks becomes tired and heads upstairs to find a warm bed to rest in.
The first bedroom was too extravagant for her taste. The second bedroom was too stark. However, the third bedroom was nice and cozy. She lays down and soon falls asleep.
The unsettling discovery.
The three guru’s return home refreshed and ready to get back to work on their moneymaking programs.
As they sit back down at their computers, they notice something’s not quite right.
Hype Guru growls.
“Somebody’s been messing with my laptop.”
Greedy Guru snarls.
“Somebody’s been messing with my laptop.”
Smart Guru smiles.
“Somebody’s been messing with my laptop, and they placed an order.”
Hearing voices downstairs, Goldilucks quickly sneaks out of the second story window using the bed sheets. She runs off down the trail before the three guru’s can catch her and have her arrested for trespassing.
The next day, Smart Guru gets a message in his email from Goldilucks thanking him for the meal and use of his bed. She also raves about his information book that she ordered.
Smart never reveals the message to the other gurus. After all, “A happy customer is a returning customer,” he reasons.
The happy ending.
Soon, thanks to Goldilucks and her friends, Smart Guru’s helpful little ebook is selling like hotcakes, making him a millionaire. He moves into his own cottage and strikes up a friendship with Goldilucks.
After a few months, they get engaged and make plans to live happily ever after.
Hype Guru’s empty promises catch up with him and his online reputation is ruined by vengeful customers.
Greedy Guru is arrested for Internet fraud and banned forever from the Web.
The moral of the story?
“The guru may get the golden egg, but only if he’s honest.”
THE END