Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong
process.
As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response
to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when
we mature; we mature when we become responsible.
Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated or
moved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach this
principal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they will
gain or lose by the choices they make.
ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person.
Examples are:
Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. My
choices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt only
me.
YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like and
approve of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility to
those who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I am
wrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard other
people’s resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affect
my daily life.
US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us.
Some
people and organizations I know, some I don’t know yet, but they are a part of my
extended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesy
and service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers,
school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individual
actions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form of
recommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.
The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make the
world a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth,
eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. The
Universe may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doing
right and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have a
responsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentions
towards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.
As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible as
early as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think and
choose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, they
will grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life and
contribute to the well being of the group.
This handout 2003 has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission to
make copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list of
parenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at
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