If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, please get help to stop as soon as possible. Adults are supposed to safeguard and protect the young among us. You may be repeating patterns learned in your family of origin or not know any other methods of parenting.
I have included a number of different approaches to discipline that won’t damage the spirit of your precious children, but none will work if you haven’t acknowledged that what you were doing in the past was harmful and that your family deserved a more nurturing environment. I am not a psychologist or a counselor, but I know there are good ones out there who can assist you in shifting your paradigm of discipline to a more loving and respectful relationship.
You owe it to your children and yourself to break the bonds and cycle of abuse and get help. Change is possible; I see it every day in families I work with. You are a good, kind and loving person or you wouldn’t be reading this book and attending these classes, so I encourage you to take the steps that will change the lives of your children and their children.
You can do it. I believe in you.
A list of talking points to help you discipline without damage is listed below.
The meaning of the word discipline
Is your love unconditional
Be both firm and kind in discipline
Adults also need time out
Teach them that mistakes are never final
We all need boundaries
Consistent does not mean rigid
Discipline but never punish
Catch them doing things right
Teach without anger, shame or blame
There is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” child
Issue a warning, but mean it
Spanking and screaming are not effective teachers
Eliminate “Who’s at Fault?”
Be aware of your body and facial language
Treat each child as an individual
Be careful of abusive adjectives, they really hurt
Recognize effort and improvement
Don’t punish them for telling the truth
Deal with problems in private, praise in public
Distinguish between minor mishaps and major problems
Teach them to forgive and ask for forgiveness
Be curious not furious-Ask questions
This handout has been prepared for you by Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator. It is part of a new book, Raise a Confident Child which will be coming out soon. For Free reports and to subscribe to the “Artichoke-finding the heart of the story in the journey of life” please join us at
Judy H. Wright is a parent educator and life coach. Her passion and joy is in working with Head Start staff and Child Care providers to create a climate where every child succeeds and blossoms. The website
contains many free articles and reports as well as books, workshops and tele-classes for parents and educators.
