Land of the Pop-up Ads

On a sunny day in June, Dana sits at her computer doing a little web surfing. She was in a good mood because she’d just gotten a promotion to Assistant Office Manager at her company.
Dana wanted to reward herself, and since she’d gotten a nice bonus, she wanted to treat herself to some new clothes, books, a CD player, etc. As Dana clicks around from site to site, she notices a disturbing trend. Many sites have several pop-up advertisements that open up in separate browsers.
At first she didn’t mind, but when she clicked off one particular web site, she saw eight separate browsers staring back at her. Of course, they were all trying to sell her something.
She quickly learns how to click off those annoying ads in 5 seconds or less. She wonders if somewhere out there in cyberspace there was a browser clicking competition featuring the fastest pop-up ad clickers in the world. Dana was sure she’d be right up there with the best of them.
After finally buying a few items she was looking for—none of them from pop-up ads—Dana decides to finish her browsing at home. Once home, Dana checks her email to see if any family or friends had left a message. After all, she’d told them that today could be her big break!
She looks, but there was only the usual junk mail and a few ezines she subscribed to. Wait! Something caught her attention. The subject line read: Lose Weight in 30 Days or Less!
Dana wanted to lose a few pounds, so she opens the message. From there she was encouraged to check out a web site where she could view more information on this quick-loss program.
Click.
Dana is transported into the world of miracle diets and easy weight loss treatments. She realizes her mistake immediately and decides this isn’t for her. However, when she tries to leave the main site, she finds each click just leads to another bright colored pop-up ad trying to entice her to buy into its weight loss promises.
It took her a full minute to escape the wall of pop-ups that blanketed her computer screen. Dana found it incredible that people thought they could make sales from annoying people this much. Tired from the long day, Dana goes to bed.
Dana awakens with a start.
She’s in a field covered with beautiful multi-colored wildflowers.
All around her are the sights and sounds of nature: birds, crickets, frogs,
monkeys . . .
What are monkeys doing here?
Anyway, it’s an idyllic place. Suddenly, she hears the sound of human voices. The voices get louder and louder until she’s surrounded by several familiar faces.
There was Neil and Jennifer from work, her sister Michelle, and Derek Risely, a hunky actor from one of her favorite TV shows. They were all looking at her with a mixture of cheerfulness and concern.
“Hey Dana, congratulations.” Neil said.
“Thanks. You guys are all here for my party, right?”
“Yeah.” Michelle said.
“But we also came here to lose weight.”
This puzzled Dana, because she thought they were going to be celebrating her promotion.
Derek puts his arm around Dana protectively.
“We’re here to protect you, and us.” Derek said.
“They can’t get us if we all stick together.”
“Get us for what?” Dana asked.
“Losing weight.” Michelle said.
“I don’t get it.” Dana said.
Derek cups his hand over his ear.
“Shhh . . . Listen. They’re coming.”
Pop.
“Who?” Dana whispered.
Pop!
Jennifer points skyward
“Them!”
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Dana looks up, and to her horror sees thousands of browser windows blanketing the sky above. This was truly bizarre, but she didn’t have much time to think about it.
Derek starts running for cover.
“Run!!”
Dana tries to run, but feels like she’s stuck in place. Soon the small group was completely surrounded by an endless stream of pop-up ads.
Pop! Free Trial! More Cash Magazine!
Dana reaches out for Derek, but a pop-up blocks her way.
Pop! Stay Young Forever With Oxygen Cream!
She hears Michelle’s voice from a distance.
“Get away from me!”
Pop! Cheap Web hosting! Only $8.95!
Dana tries to move towards the voice, but can’t find her sister.
POP! Play Casino Gold and Win $$$!
POP! Become an Armchair Millionaire!
POP! Lose Weight Now!
POP! Increase Your Energy With X-Factor!
Dana begins to panic. There were pop-ups wherever she turned. It was a very claustrophobic feeling.
POP! Traffic Buzz-Em! 500 Free Credits!
POP! Get Out of Debt! New EZ Credit Repair!
POP! Sign up for Funny Jokes Newsletter!
The worst part was that all the blinking lights, colors and words were pushing her brain towards overload. Not to mention that incessant popping noise. Dana didn’t know how much longer she could take it.
She hears Derek scream out.
“Ahhh!!! I’m going crazy. Stop the popping!”
POP! Free Quotes! Instant Quotes! Save up to 75%!
POP! Detection Free Spying with Snoop Cam!
POP! Instant Credit Card! Everyone Approved!
POP! Cell Phones! Cell Phone Depot! Cell Phones!
POP! Stop Impotency With Funagra!
Dana knew she had to do something quick or they’d all become mindless zombies in the land of the pop-ups.
Just then, she sees a pop-up that reads:
Pop the Bubble for Lower Air Fares!
Half crazed, Dana runs over to the ad and punches the bright pink bubble as hard as she can. Hoping for some type of escape from this torture.
Everything goes black.
The early morning sun peaks outside of the window as Dana groggily wakes up from the worst dream she’d had in a long time. As she gradually awakens, it seems strange not to see any more giant pop-up ads shining their neon-like messages into her face. But alas, she was back in reality.
Dana begins to reflect on her experience in the land of the pop-up ads and realizes that her nightmare wasn’t so far-fetched after all.
Weren’t pop-up ads becoming more and more annoying and intrusive?
Wasn’t it possible that they could become a real threat to the peace and serenity of the average web surfer?
Dana decides right then and there to fight back.
Her weapon of choice? An extremely powerful software that promised to block pop-up ads from infiltrating her computer.
Dana smiles. Happy that she had solved her problem and wouldn’t have that awful nightmare again. Pleased with that, she gets out of bed and starts a new day. Not finding it a bit ironic that she had gotten the idea to buy her new anti-pop up software from—you guessed it.
A pop-up ad.