Acknowledgement is about recognition or attention from
another person. It can be physical such as – a pat on the
back, a touch or a handshake. It can also be psychological
such as – a word of praise, a compliment, even a “hello!” It
can even just be time spent with the person.
Physical and psychological attentions are absolutely vital
to human beings. We all need it and we need it every day.
However, it must be said that every human being has a
different level of need for acknowledgement.
If you looked at it on a scale of 0 to 100 then there are a
small number of people who’d be low on the scale. These are
the people who cut themselves off from others, the hermits
amongst us. The majority of people however, are pretty far
up that scale.
The need for acknowledgement is something that’s programmed
into us. Babies and children have a huge need for physical
acknowledgement. You can see that demonstrated by the way
they reach out for you, how they want to be held and
cuddled. Research has shown that infants who are denied this
physical acknowledgement can suffer both in their physical
and emotional growth.
As children develop their use of language, they start to
need psychological attention as well. I’m sure you’ve
experienced children coming to you, with something they’ve
drawn or made, looking for your praise.
As we grow into adulthood we become more sophisticated;
however our need for acknowledgement doesn’t go away, we
just seek it in a different way.
We send out all sorts of signals just to get
acknowledgement. We “casually” mention some achievement –
“I’ve managed to reduce my golf handicap” – “My boss has
asked me to take on more responsibility” or – “Our child has
just passed their exams.”
We take other actions to meet our need for acknowledgement.
Do you remember the TV programme Cheers about the regular
customers in a Boston bar? The show’s signature theme had a
line in it which went something like – “Everybody goes where
everybody knows your name!” The characters in Cheers don’t
just go to Cheers for a drink; they know that when they walk
in the door someone, probably the person behind the bar will
acknowledge them.
I was speaking to a participant on one of my seminars and he
was telling me all about his role as President of his local
fishing club. All the things he had to do, the newsletter to
write, the competitions to organise and the meetings to
attend. I asked him if he got paid for it. “Oh no” was the
reply, “I do it because I like it.”
Of course he does it because he likes it and no doubt it’s a
lot of work and takes up lots of his time. However, the
acknowledgement he receives from this is massive.
I’ve known elderly parents who exaggerate illness just to
get their family to visit and spent time with them; they
just want acknowledgement.
A human’s need for acknowledgement is so strong that they
will sometimes behave badly to get that acknowledgement. I’m
sure you’re aware of children who behave badly in school
just to get attention – well, adults do it too.
That person in your team who gives you all sorts of problems
which are often difficult to understand, may just be seeking
acknowledgement.
The people you manage need acknowledgement and spending
quality time with them is the way to do it. Just to be clear
– acknowledgement isn’t just about praising people; it’s
about spending time, listening and speaking with them.
Discover how you can generate more business by motivating
your team!
Alan Fairweather is the author of “How to get More Sales
by Motivating Your Team” This book is packed with practical
things you can do to get the best out of your people.
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