Have you ever heard yourself say to a team member – “You’re
really great” – “You’re a star” – I think you’re brilliant”
– “You’re doing a great job!”
It’s got to be a plus point that you’re giving Confirming
Feedback and there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with any of
the statements above; however, they could be better. There
is also the danger that these statements could come across
as a bit patronising.
Managers who find it a bit difficult to give Confirming
feedback might also feel uncomfortable with these types of
statements.
One of the other reasons for giving Confirming Feedback is
to get more of the same behaviour; the statements above may
not ensure that. Let me give you and example of what I mean.
Fred has just submitted a report which you’re pleased with
and you decide to tell him so – “That’s a great report Fred;
you’re brilliant at writing reports!”
But what made the report great and why is Fred so brilliant
at writing them?
It would have been better to say – “I liked the way you
structured that report Fred, the words you used and the use
of diagrams made it easy for me to understand. Thank you for
the time you have obviously put into it.”
Fred now knows what it is you like about his report and is
more likely to write it in a similar way in the future.
This is what we call being Descriptive. You are describing
to the team member what you saw or heard that you liked.
This carries much more weight than a – “Well done!”
Managers who are uncomfortable with Confirming Feedback find
this easier to do because it takes the “emotion” out of the
statement. There is also less risk of sounding patronising.
It’s even more important to use descriptive statements when
you see or hear something you’re not happy with.
This is where we need to do a lot more thinking and a lot
less reacting.
It’s so easy to react when a team member does or says
something we don’t like. We say things like – “You’ve got
the wrong attitude!”- “You’re hopeless!” – “That was a
stupid way to deal with that situation!” – “You’ll need to
shape up!” – “You’re not very responsible!”
Statements like these will only get the team members back up
and won’t get the change in behaviour you want.
Let’s say that one of your team turns up late for the third
time in a week. You decided to ignore the first two late
situations but this third time has made you angry. You might
say – “You’ve got the wrong attitude to this job, you’re
always late and I’m not having it. If you’re late again
you’ll receive an official warning.”
That statement is not descriptive, it’s reactive. It
stresses you, it de-motivates the team member and it’s
unlikely to resolve the situation. A descriptive statement
would be – “I’m unhappy with the fact that you’ve been late
for work three times this week. I’m willing to hear your
reasons for being late and agree with you how we can prevent
this happening in the future.”
You’re letting the team member know that you’re not prepared
to accept their lateness but you’re willing to hear their
side of the story.
When you describe performance you are focussing on specific
behaviour. You describe what you see and what you hear in
clear terms that the team member can also see, hear and
understand.
If you’re not prepared to accept that then you need to tell
them so. However, you may wish to make a judgement call and
accept their timekeeping. At the end of the day it comes
back to outcomes – are they producing the results? You may
have to consider how their timekeeping affects the other
members of the team.
I’ve only talked about lateness here however there are many
other situations where you’ll be required to give some
Productive Feedback and coach people. It could be the way
the team member speaks to a customer or a colleague. It
could be for failing to produce the required results.
Whatever it is, using descriptive statements and coaching
the individual will resolve the situation in terms of your
interests and the team members.
Discover how you can generate more business by motivating
your team!
Alan Fairweather is the author of “How to get More Sales
by Motivating Your Team” This book is packed with practical
things you can do to get the best out of your people.
Click here now
