A recent survey indicated that over 40 million singles have used or are currently using online dating services. Its a huge business that has ushered in a whole new era of dating with its own unique set of rules.
Of course you know about online dating safety and how to protect yourself from unwanted attention. But do you know the unwritten rules, the tips and tricks that will make your online dating experience much better?
Keep Your Expectations Low
It has been estimated that 96% of the people who use online dating services fail to find a compatible person with whom to have a dating relationship. Part of the reason for this, though, is that most people approach online matchmaking with unrealistic expectations. When they dont find a perfect match after one or two dates they give up and try something else.
Despite what the advertising wants you to believe, your perfect match isnt going to just fall out of the sky one day. It takes diligent searching, careful screening, and lots of dates to increase your chances of success. Keep your expectations low key; dont set yourself up for failure by getting too excited when you see an interesting profile or meet an interesting person.
Dont Respond Too Quickly
Most online dating services wont tell you this because they make money from email messages between members, but dont be too quick to answer when a message comes in. Many online dating experts suggest waiting 24 to 48 hours to respond, and also say never to respond on a weekend or holiday. Their reasoning is that when you respond too quickly it makes you appear desperate and also doesnt allow you to pause and carefully compose an appropriate response.
Yes, its exciting when someone notices your profile and makes contact, but dont let the excitement run away with you. Relax, take a deep breath, and if necessary refer back to the previous section on maintaining realistic expectations.
Keep It Light
When you answer an email, keep the tone light and friendly. Online messages are NOT an appropriate avenue for providing your entire life history or unloading about your past hurts and current emotional state. Dont be shallow and flip, of course, but do be conservative with what you write. And, as always, dont reveal personally identifiable information via online messages.
Dont Drag Things Along
Once you have exchanged a few messages, its time to either meet in person or move on. As a general rule of thumb, if more than three to five messages have been exchanged and you havent set up a date yet, then its time to say goodbye. Dont allow yourself to be sucked into email communications that drag on for weeks or months at a time. Email is not a substitute for meeting and getting acquainted in person.
Tell The Truth
One of the great temptations of online personal ads is to embellish the truth about you. Whether its shaving a few years off your age, overstating your career achievements, or understating your body weight, remember that the truth will be revealed once you meet someone in person. Its pointless to lie about such things and it undermines trust right from the start. As Mark Twain once said When in doubt, tell the truth.
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