Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise.
–Samuel Lover
One of the most common complaints of clients who want life balance coaching is that their plate is fuller than full. From professional to business owner to home maker, having a quality life has become increasingly challenging. The demands of modern life often leave some people feeling dragged out and inadequate instead of personally empowered. Many people know intellectually that they cant give 100% to everything, yet still they have unreasonable expectations for themselves. As a result somethings gotta give, and usually, it is their self-care & personal fulfillment.
Is your development in career, relationships, or other life categories suffering because you take on too much? See if this sounds like something you might be saying to yourself. Life just seems to be whizzing by me, and I dont really feel as though Im spending enough quality time on the things that matter most to me. I worry a lot that Im going to somehow miss my life and then it will be over.
Lifes demands may not slow up any time soon, and learning life balance is an ongoing art. If you think one day you will get it all done, and then you can relax, you are bound to be disappointed.
So then how can we create an alternative to the demands of this fast-paced, over-busy society? Women and men alike want to insure that those things of greatest importance to them get the amount of attention they deserve.
While there arent always simple answers to a quality lifestyle in which balance reigns, here are some basic life management skills that our life balane coaching clients have found extremely helpful:
Number one: Identify the top four priority categories in your life that you want to balance (i.e., spirituality/personal development, family/relationship, career, personal care/health) and honestly assess how much time you give to each category.
Often, people have expectations of themselves that are unreasonable given the amount of time they actually have to devote to something. If, for example, you are giving only 50% of your time to a career, it is truly unreasonable to expect yourself to be a superstar in that category. But if kids and family are a top priority to you, giving only 50% to career is probably the most you could give and still have enough time and energy left over.
Number two: Write things down! Dont use your brain as your day planner. Doing so increases stress. Consider making five separate life balance to do lists. The first four lists correlate with your four top priority life categories (from our example above, one for spirituality/personal development, one for family/relationships, one for career/work and one for personal care/health). Then the fifth list would be for general to dos that dont fit into those top four categories.
From these lists make sure you schedule the important items in your priority categories first, before anything else makes it onto your calendar. As a result you wont have to worry whether youre making time for priorities. Then you can pick and choose from your general to do list which additional activities you may need to, have to or (actually want to fit in. By the way, dont be afraid to use that good word no to any time-robbers you identify!
Number three: Practice being in the present moment only. Lets say youre always thinking about your endless pile of work at the office when youre home with the family. Fact is there is absolutely nothing you can do about those things on your desk. Worrying about it takes precious time and attention away from your priorities and increases your feelings of dissatisfaction about life.
It takes practice and some mental self-control to keep your attention on whats happening in the present moment, but this tip alone will bring huge rewards. When you savor the series of life moments one by one, you will find you dont feel as though youre missing out.
Be patient and loving with yourself, whether you apply the above tips yourself or integrate them into your life through Life Balance Coaching. Always remember, life balance is an ongoing process and it will throw you curve balls from time to time. The key to growth and personal fulfillment is to remember it is a process rather than an event. But with practice, you will find coming back to equilibrium gets quicker & easier. As a result, you will enjoy life more and have a more consistent experience of happiness.
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